there is no venus about you :

~~

he had brought me here :

caught in the memory of yesterday
gone with the river
gone with the rain
gone is the reason that i called your name

i held you higher than my own happiness
but you felt the need to come between our arrangements

~~ 

you, james :

                 

i finally met you. i finally looked at you in the eyes. i finally recognize how tall you are. i finally could hear you sing at my ears. you do not know - i wasn't able to tell you everything - but you have been on my path all these years, teaching me how to be more pure and more real.  when i have got next to you, i just forgot all the speech i have prepared at home, you have just blown me away! we have a cup of gin together, we have talked, you hug me (!) and when i asked how do you feel when you have Portugal just falling in love with you, you came out with the simple answer  "i think people get the honesty on the songs" …  simple as this, true as that.
  thank you, james.  

i do hope you can meet again in the future. i really do. now i am safe inside.

~~

his place :

last night we were in our bad timing. we have stayed late and we have touched late. 

leaving bruises in all the forbiden spaces. last night we forgot how everyone knows us and we park near your place. bringing the heat from outside to between us. last time we went wrong. so care for me and care for you. give it to me and i will give to you. even with all those limits and boundaries. even with that touch and go. last night we were in our bad timing. 

~~

feitiço :

you are the sorceress. you came and settle down here. with no please or excuse me. you manage me like your perfume. you knock on the door with no gentleness. come along like a silent breeze and go away like a tornado. you were the sorceress that night. you have appeared out of the blue and gave colour to a grey day. and i was there listening to you for the first time and i let you embrace me. 

~~ 

mornings :

always

since that time

on the subway

on tv series

on the way home

32 :

ela abriu a porta sem tocar à campainha. entrou e sentou-se ao meu lado. vimos filmes juntas no sofá, à lareira, em dias de inverno. nas minhas festas de aniversário, ela estava ali sempre junto à aparelhagem ainda com leitor de K7 com diferentes estórias para me contar. soltei lágrimas constantes com ela; larguei sorrisos largos e também danças incríveis que o meu corpo exigia. sempre acreditei na sua verdade, mas acima de tudo na sua ingenuidade de não saber, quase nunca, do pode que tem, e do que faz às pessoas que a rodeiam. não me lembro ao certo de quando aquela porta se abriu, nem do que ela trazia vestido. nunca se foi embora daqui e a teimosia dela é uma imperatriz. Impõe-me um respeito incontornável e rouba-me dias a fio, horas em que me perco com ela por estradas sem traços descontínuos. sempre que abro o coração para ela, ela entra, assim ...

era adolescente quando esta canção ecoou em mim. pensei no caminho que estaria à minha frente e no que sentiria quando tivesse 32 anos. Não tinha certezas de nada, como agora tenho poucas incertezas de tudo. O poder da letra perfura-me a serenidade. Mas nunca nada foi tão certo como esta sensação ... 

"i found you standing there when i was seventeen.
now i am 32 and i can't remember what i've seen in you"

não desapareças. nunca fujas. não feches a porta.  

obrigada, música!